Wind and Fatigue

It’s been very windy lately. Right now I am extremely tired. The wind kept me wake until 2 a.m. last night. Right now Oswin and I are the only ones awake. I think that’s why I love my cat Oswin so much, he always there for me. I love turning around and seeing those big yellow-green eyes looking up at me as if to say, “What? Was I not suppose to follow you?

The new Venture Brothers episode came out last night too. I am sad that it left so many questions unanswered. I am really excited for this season to continue on and to see what happens to the Ventures. The “super hero” group is hilarious, The Crusaders Action League. The Captain America version guy wears high heels! I thought he was a woman at first! And The Fallen Archer! Who shoots feet! And feet that come back to you even! (I have to admit that is pretty smart…) Hilarious! Very happy to see Brock back with the Ventures. I do hate Hanks Bieber look though…Dr. Mrs. The Monarch is walking a very thin line though. She’s trying so hard to keep everything going. She’s just become 1 of 6 (or maybe 7) counsel of 13 member and now she may have to go far beyond what she is expecting to do her job. Still got to love 21 and The Monarch though. And The Sea Captain is back on tranquilizer darts. I have a feeling Phantom Limb is going to go bad or try to take over.

Sorry I am re-watching the episode and I am a little rambley. I think I need to follow Oswin’s lead and go to bed. But here’s one of my favorite scenes.



It’s one of those nights that I just want to runaway from everything in my life. Work, relationship, apartment, everything.

It’s been a long day and everything was ok. Then I get my review at work and I didn’t get a raise like I was hoping. I’ve been there 4 years and I work my ass off. And just when I was starting to care about my job again. I even joined a group for employees to help better things around the store. And nothing.

Now I am home and all my boyfriend can talk about is how it’s New Year’s Eve and how we should be drinking tonight. I don’t want to drink. Especially when it’s always the cheap crap that I can afford. If I am going to drink I want something worth drinking.

I am tired of this. I am tired of everything. Maybe I’ll get lucky and I’ll get a New Year’s miracle and wake up with something great to live for. Something that makes my life good.

I Don’t Want To

I’ve just gotten home from work. It’s been a long day. My boyfriend and I made plans yesterday to go out tonight. I just feel so tired. I don’t really want to do anything. I don’t even want to eat, I just want to sleep.
I just don’t even know what to say right now. I got home to my boyfriend blasting music. He knows I don’t like that. I’ve been the annoyed neighbor putting up with loud music too many times to know better. Yesterday we really started talking about our relationship and how serious we are and suddenly when I am tired and a little annoyed I am like is this really what I want. I am not saying anything like getting married tomorrow or even next year. But it really makes me think about it right now.


Last night was a little interesting for me. So here’s a little bit of back story. Since Monday I’ve been working overnights, 8 pm to 5 am. I literally just woke up. With that aside, today is my Friday (also actually Friday, for once) on a long 10 day stretch. I am pretty sure my brain is Jello.
Last night my boyfriend made me dinner for when I got home at midnight. He also got a little tipped. Before I got home for my hour long meal break he woke up and realized I wasn’t in bed next to him. He then searched the house for me. He freaked out a little. After realizing I was at work he calmed down a bit. When I got home we talked and cuddled.
I love him. A little life tip; if someone worries when they can’t find you and they aren’t your mom, they’re worth keeping. 🙂


Today was really long. Hopes up and then down. I am just so tired and I am so sick of working so hard and having nothing to show for it, not even a decent pay check. Disappointments. Plain and simply.

I know I am upset with my boyfriend because I’ve had a long hard day and that he really didn’t do anything wrong. But I am still annoyed. I get home and he’s drunk passed out on the bed. I keep telling myself I am going to stop buying alcohol, but I always end up wanting it too (especially when I can’t find alternative). Anyway long story short he broke the zipper on my favorite jeans trying to be cute. I am not even super mad, I am just annoyed. And then he takes it all personal.

God I need some weed. (Alternative.) But now Oswin is being super cute to cheer me up.


I am finally on my 2 days off in a row and I feel awful. I just want to watch tv and sleep. But I guess that’s not on my agenda today. I literally have nothing I have to do but I can’t just sleep. I keep either getting hot or cold and my head hurts so bad.

My boyfriend is on a music day so instead of having my Archer, Ugly Americans or Doctor Who marathon I wanted my laptop is playing YouTube videos. Yes some of the music I like. But I just want to scream I don’t give a flying shit about your fucking music! But I won’t.

So instead I’ll just do nothing today. Play my apps and write a bit. Too bad my brain has been stuck in idle for about a week or more.

I worry sometimes I am just going to explode at my boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, I love him and he does so much for me. But the constant music and just little things like that irritate me to no end. I understand he gets tired of the same old tv shows I have downloaded but I don’t care if I’ve seen something a hundred times, I’ll probably still watch it.

I am just so tired.