It’s one of those nights that I just want to runaway from everything in my life. Work, relationship, apartment, everything.

It’s been a long day and everything was ok. Then I get my review at work and I didn’t get a raise like I was hoping. I’ve been there 4 years and I work my ass off. And just when I was starting to care about my job again. I even joined a group for employees to help better things around the store. And nothing.

Now I am home and all my boyfriend can talk about is how it’s New Year’s Eve and how we should be drinking tonight. I don’t want to drink. Especially when it’s always the cheap crap that I can afford. If I am going to drink I want something worth drinking.

I am tired of this. I am tired of everything. Maybe I’ll get lucky and I’ll get a New Year’s miracle and wake up with something great to live for. Something that makes my life good.


2015 in review

The stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 800 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 13 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.


I am here laying on my bed. Everything is quiet and tense. My boyfriend is upset, but not really at anyone. I am honestly waiting to see if he breaks up with me. Yes it’s been that bad of a day. Not a screaming fighting kind of day, more of a quiet awkward day. He’s mad and won’t talk about it.
Aside from all this, my past few days have been good. I went to my mom’s house for Christmas and had a blast with her. It was alot of fun, but since Randall didn’t come with me it gave us a few days apart. Unfortunately since the area where I grew up and where my mom’s house has terrified phone reception, and I think actually goes back in time, Randall and I didn’t talk a lot while I was gone.
My mom and I are a lot alike. She’s influenced how I am in a lot of ways. So when she tells me I don’t need a man in my life or I could do better it really makes me think. Even before I came home I knew I do love Randall and I didn’t care that he doesn’t have a job now. Now since he’s upset and I am guessing depressed because of his unemployment it’s more difficult.
I am just so tired. I am not in the mood for this fight.

Christmas Blues

This is going to be a difficult Christmas for us. Unfortunately both my boyfriend and I are going to different places this year. Today he’s leaving to go to his mom’s house. Tomorrow night I leave for my mom’s house.
It’s not that I don’t like his mom or something, I just don’t want him to be stuck there and then realize he’s not having a good time. I won’t be there to take him home. I kind of wish he were just staying home. He thought about doing that, but I know his mom probably guilted him into it. She’s been extra clingy lately.
Randall has always been kind of antisocial. I think it’s more of social anxiety. I feel bad that he feels like he has to please everyone too. I know he just wants to stay home but now he feels bad he’s not coming with me. But he still feels bad for going to his mom’s. He’s complicated. He’s been tossing and turning all nice, but then again I am the one laying in bed awake…

Ready For A Break

I am sorry I haven’t been more active lately. I’ve been so busy at work I am tired at the end of my days. But luckily since Christmas is next week it’s been slowing down.
So what is new? My boyfriend and I have started watching a new anime called One-Punch Man. I know, I know anime has a very selective fan base but this one is great! It’s about a man who is a hero for fun. It takes place in a fictional Japanese (I think anyway, that’s where the manga is from) city state. Anyway if you can get past having subtitles (that was a big struggle for me) it’s amazing and you’ll love it. Believe me if you like shows I’ve posted about before you’ll most likely enjoy this one too. Same humor.

Not a lot has happened besides this new show. Still waiting for the new seasons of Archer and The Venture Bros. Still waiting for the release date of season 3 of Rick and Morty. So here’s some cute pictures of our cats.

And a pretty sunset.


To start this post let me pose a question: Do people change with age? I’ve often wondered this, primarily about my father. Most of the evidence points to no. My father is still the very stubborn, very right minded man he was when I was in high school. But then there are a few new points that are intriguing to say the least.
The most recent of these small points is him seeming ok with my boyfriend spending the night. Granted I am sick and my father was worried about me. (Though if I heard death on the other side of the phone call I’d be worried too…) My dad doesn’t know that my boyfriend and I live together, but that’s because he wouldn’t approved of it. The fact that I implied that my boyfriend spent the night and my father didn’t say anything is highly suspicion.
But the other conclusion is that my dad has changed a little and is just worried I am becoming an old maid…He has called me one before…That was a great 22nd birthday. Yes. 22 and I am an old maid.