Family Therapist

It truly shows how much hate can be stored over time. Or perhaps it’s just the old ways of thinking that have clouded so many people. I have a very hard time talking with my father about our family’s relationships. When I was young my parents divorced and to this day my parents don’t get along. A large part of all of it is that my father can’t realize why my mom wanted to get divorced.
As the victim in my parents eyes, I’ve talked with my parents about the divorce over the years. I have talked more with my mom which may explain why I side more with her than my father. But I can also understand and sympathize the feeling of utter despair of thinking you’re stuck and you can’t get out of a bad relationship. I’ve been there and it really blows. And the moment you see any hope if getting out you grasp as hard as you can to that life vest.
Unfortunately for my father the divorce was anything but a life vest. It was more of a life sentence for him. My dad’s explanation of why the divorce happened is because my mom went crazy/stupid and nothing was wrong. And I can also understand that, but being in a relationship that is sucking the literally life out of you can make you crazy.
For my mom I know exactly hoe hard it was for her. On one hand you could stay in a situation that makes you completely miserable or on the other hand you could leave and find your own happiness, but you would have to leave your kids behind. And even though at that young age seeing my mom leave and being told she didn’t love me was awful and the worst feeling ever I still think my mom is the most amazing and brave person I know!
I’d rather be happy alone than miserable being stuck with someone I hate. And remember if you’re going to divorce someone and you have kids talk to them about what’s going on. Making a kid think one of their parents doesn’t love them is a really fucked up move. Don’t project your own insecurities onto them. They have to go through puberty, that’s bad enough.

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