The What If’s

Today my boyfriend’s mom got married and we were the witnesses. No being apart of that doesn’t make me want to get married right now (been too close to that to know that’s not something I want right now). But situations like this will always make you wonder, especially with people of particular standards (religious people [no offense or judgment]) asking (or rather telling you) when you will be getting married.
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year but we both are in no hurry to get married. It’s not that we haven’t thought about it we both just know we don’t want to get married until we’ve been together for a while. But we both also came into this relationship from bad relationships. He was in one with super bad trust issues and mine was like a bicycle with a flat tire that was starting to be shredded and eventually torn off completely. But somehow we found each other and we make each other so much happier.
I find myself wondering a lot if I hadn’t been in my last bad relationship would I still be in this amazing one? I think we all occasionally wish we could redo a part of our on lives. Like if you could just wish it away but still be exactly where you are still. But if we didn’t know bad we wouldn’t know the good could be so great.
And who knows, maybe some day Randall and I will get married and then someday have kids (probably not…we don’t want any). But at least I know that now I am very happy with him and I know I love him. But best of all I know he loves me.
Here’s a beautiful Mac Lethal song that we both love. Great song for me to go out on I think. 🙂


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