Life or Death?

I have never been one to really worry about things that could happen. I am more of a worrier for things that will happen. But faced with things that may happen and may not happen is scary. Especially when it’s something that could affect the rest of your life.

A few weeks ago I went to the doctor for what we women call a Well Woman exam. It’s the basic examination for cancers and problems. I wasn’t worried about my downstairs, but I do have a lump in one of my breasts. It’s a big reason I scheduled the appointment. But my doctor decided to have it ultrasounded and now he wants to have a biopsy done.

I am freaking out a little bit. Breast cancer runs in my family so there is a chance, but I sure as shit wasn’t ready to have to worry about this at 23. My boyfriend keeps saying I’ll be fine and being very supportive, but what if it isn’t? And now there’s the hidden worry if me being pregnant. It’s not that I am but I might be. I really don’t think I am. I haven’t spotted, my breasts aren’t enlarging and I also have started a new birth control right around the time I should have started. Just freaking out a bit right now…

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